What The Hell Is Columbus Day?

And why are you celebrating it?

Supposedly, Columbus Day (I cringe every time I type that) is to celebrate him “discovering America.” How many people still believe this? Are there really people that still believe this?

  • He didn’t set out to prove that the earth was round. The ancient Greeks had proven that 3,000 years before Columbus was even alive. Everyone knew the world was round.
  • He didn’t discover the New World. Remember the First Nations? They were here 14,000 years before him. Also, what about the Vikings? Leif Erikson was here 500 years before Columbus ever set sail.
  • He never meant to find the Americas.
  • He thought it’d be easy to conquer the Natives and when he returned, demanded that his men were given gold, food, and their women to have sex with. When they refused, their ears and noses were cut off as a “warning” to the others.
  • When the Natives rebelled, Columbus found an excuse to go to war, and people were commonly being fed to hunting dogs, alive.
  • When he didn’t get as much gold as he wanted, he took approximately 500 Natives back to Spain to be sold as slaves.
  • More Natives were enslaved in the New World and were forced to feed, care for, and carry Columbus’s men on their backs. When they fled to escape enslavement, the men would hunt them down for sport, and use them for dog food.
  • Columbus felt like he needed more gold, so Natives that brought him gold would receive a “get-out-of-jail-free card”, aka a token around their neck that extended their need to find more gold. Those who didn’t have gold, had their hands cut off to be worn around their necks.

How many of you knew any of that? The first two points should be a given. Don’t feel bad if you don’t know these things, a lot of American history books were changed to make them come out on top (ahem, look at the wars!)


I don’t think Columbus was the worst man on earth, but he was far from the greatest, and I don’t believe he should have a day to celebrate him. I think he got caught up in greed and the idea of glory.

No, Canada doesn’t celebrate this day – today is our Thanksgiving! But we constantly hear “Columbus this, Columbus that” and it becomes quite aggravating. It would be different if people didn’t idolize someone like this, but it isn’t like that. People think he’s one of the greats, and he’s not.

It breaks my heart that American history books are wrong, but please, learn your history.



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