Hello World!

Hi everyone!

I come at you from the comforts of my incredibly messy bedroom… errr… yes, I need to clean, badly.

I realize I haven’t posted in about a week. Please, have no fear! For I am here, queer, and… what? Okay, I’ll quit with the nonsensical stuff, but I wasn’t home for a while and didn’t feel like writing because I had better stuff to do.

On Thursday, I was kidnapped.

It’s okay, they had my consent.

Tim, Mistress, and Tophat came to get me and I spent quite a lot of time with them, and I’m thankful for that. I absolutely love spending time with them. There aren’t many people that allow you to be yourself around them, nor are there many people that you can be alone with. Does that sound confusing? Basically, I can be by myself, while I’m with them. It doesn’t even have anything to do with feeling disconnected, it’s just the ability to be free. I also like how they don’t try to entertain me 24/7. I don’t need to be entertained, I just enjoy the company. If I want to do something, I will say so… now at least.

I’m proud of myself. I spoke when I was hungry, and even showered! Now, that’d be incredibly gross if I didn’t shower, but… I have this really weird issue where I hate showering at peoples’ houses, and I hate telling people I’m hungry. I also don’t go in fridges… but I can do that with them! Huzzah!

Miss is a very good cook. AND I HELPED.

That pasta was really good… Mmmm, pasta…

I got to meet Tophat’s parents! They seemed really nice. I sometimes feel funny around people I’ve never met before, but it was kinda cool meeting them.

Tim bit me.

I was going to put an exclamation mark there, but then I’d sound far too excited and… errr… anyway, I deserved it, but, lol. Today, my Mom actually noticed it and when I told her, she gave me a weird face. It’s okay, I think she understands the masochistic tendencies, I’ve always had them. Sometimes I’ll slap myself just for the hell of it. I’m weird, I know.

We went on adventures though. And by adventures, I mean we all spent time together talking and laughing and even crying!

I cried. Missssssssssss talked to me. We went outside and sat on bleachers, which is cool, because we scared away some guy that was sitting there – we didn’t even have to talk about periods! She made me laugh though, a loooot. Whenever you think of penis, imagine pin the tail on the donkey.

I also feel much more confident after spending time there. I realize that we all have insecurities of some sort, and… there’s nothing to be ashamed about whatsoever.

One thing I really enjoyed… this sounds weird.

Voldemort had been in my life for so long, I had forgotten what happiness was. I had forgotten what a lot of things were… like how it is without him. I did think about him a couple times, which I think is normal, but honestly… they made me forget. Not in the rude, forget all you know! type of way, but it’s such a comfortable environment that I just… didn’t care. I realized in that moment that I don’t need him anymore, and I don’t think I ever really did. He helped me find things out about myself I never knew, both good and bad, but he was never designed to stay here forever. We helped each other and then we had to move on. Some people aren’t meant to stay.

My friends have all commented saying I seem happier and stuff… it’s true. I feel… free? I feel a lot of things I never thought I’d feel. I haven’t been taking my medication all that much, I keep forgetting (stupid samples), but I’m feeling things… basically, I didn’t know things were possible. I didn’t know depression could disappear (unless I take Abilify), I didn’t know I could feel pretty and confident, I didn’t know I could feel legitimately happy, loved… I didn’t know this. I thought I was just one of those people that would always be upset and alone.

Tim was at work, but… TOPHAT TOOK US TO THE THRIFT STORE! Normally, Value Village is evil, but… Mistress and I got some cool stuff. I got a coat, and I know that’s dumb considering it’s almost summer, but I’ve always wanted a trench type coat, so I got one. I didn’t realize the brand either, but it’s pretty crazy… she got this amazing blue one that looks so, so, soooo good on her! Though, I think anything could look good on her… uhhh…

Also, while he was at work, we decided to play the doodle game. Basically, you shout something out for the other person to draw. We both drew ponies at one point, and after making her draw other things, the pony then had boobs and a strap-on… best thing ever.

I got told to draw a dragon.

2013-04-30 13.04.57

Meet Alberto. He’s a boy.

He started off looking like a Charmander, but then turned into this weird… thing…

I normally don’t draw like that, but they’re funny doodles, lol. I wish I had pictures of Tophat and Mistress’s stuff, theirs was better, lol. We also had a hobo war. We all drew hobos… best. thing. ever.

And how could I ever forget?

Anyone that knows me, realizes I have wanted to play D&D since I was a kid. Well… we had been talking about it for a while, but finally started. We played twice!

I’m a halfling named Talynthia. I reign from the plains and I ride a deinonychus named Bernard. The other halflings don’t like me much, or my dinosaur; the only person that likes me is an elderly, kind of insane, man named Jimmy. My parents are dead, and aside from Bernard and Jimmy, everyone sucks.

I ended up going on an adventure, pretended to be a talking bush to a goblin, and caused a ruckus in a town. I don’t want to wait in line, I cheated people out of their places! Then I met a weird dragon man. And a fairy. And some asshole named Roger. There’s also a stone golem that occasionally wears a judge’s wig…

And of course, none of that would make sense to you if I spoke in my Talenta tongue, because I hate words. That is not a car, that is a metal basket on wheels!

Tophat pointed out that we’re all awesome, ’cause even when the DM (which is Friendly Giant, FYI) left the room, we were still roleplaying.

GOOOOOOO IMAGINATION!

Hey, maybe we should write about our adventures. 😛

I’m still learning a lot, but I’m having fun. 🙂

BTW.

MONSTER!

Did I get you?

. . .

The second time Friendly Giant was over… the first time we played D&D, it ran ’til 4 or 5 in the morning, so we said the next time we’d just start earlier… we did start earlier the second time… we just played longer and still stopped at 4am. Then we started talking about Alderhole and ghosts… and got scared. FG refused to leave until there was sun. Well, somehow we ended up talking until 8:30am while everyone else was sleeping. I only slept for 3 hours that day. What fun! Him and I were Facebook stalking people.

Coming home was funny, I screamed AHHHHHHHHHHHHH out of the window and a crackhead gave me the finger. 😦 Maybe I was just singing terribly? How would they know? Hmph.

Today has barely started, but I helped my Mom garden, talked about her upcoming surgery… very scary…  we also watched people we think were running from cops…

Also, what is with bitchy people? Who cares who my Mom is talking to? It’s none of your business, if she wanted you to know, she would’ve told you. And furthermore, I am not your bitch! I have a life and I refuse to babysit your brat of a child! You pay nothing anyway!

BAH!

* * *

Random note. I have a high pain tolerance. I walked into something and said ow, but thought nothing of it and came back to sit down. Eventually, my leg felt itchy, so I reached down and suddenly, my hand was COVERED in blood. Uhhh… time to clean up. I didn’t even feel it. So I went to do what I needed to do, but it would not stop bleeding no matter what I did. I even had my leg over my head for a while there without much luck. Eventually, I played nurse and bandaged myself up. No, not with a bandaid, I mean sterilize the area and open up packages of things because it was quite large. …it still wouldn’t stop bleeding. It bled through the gauze; however, it seemed to slow down. This morning, I took it off, and it started bleeding again, and it wouldn’t stop. W put some “new skin” stuff on it, which, BURNS, but it still wouldn’t stop bleeding… so now I have a new piece of gauze on my leg… perfect time to wear white pants!

* * *

I think… I know what I want.

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