Please, Don’t Touch Me

Today has been insane. It has been pouring rain all night and day and this is, what? The 5th day in a row? I’m sure a lot of people get depressed here, especially in the winter, there’s never any sun and it’s either always grey or always raining…

Oh, and it’s been windy too. Some of the branches came down.

I’ve been noticing that my new pills are affecting my sleep. The ones before were a sedative, they’d knock me right out, but these, these have been making me need less and less sleep. I woke up at 1:30am feeling well rested despite only sleeping maybe an hour or two. Then I couldn’t get to sleep until 3 or 4, and when I woke up, it was 7 and I wasn’t going back to sleep. Weird.

* * *

All 3 of us had to go for blood-work this morning. That is, my siblings and I.

I had 3 or 4 vials drawn, another random test, and my EKG. I’ve never had an EKG before, it was weird. Actually, it was kind of awkward, I’m thankful the nurse was a woman! They make you take off your shirt and bra and attach all these little diode things to your chest (and your legs!). I dislike bearing anything to anyone, I’m a very conservative person, well, compared to most. It was funny though, after a few minutes of her putting them on she turns to me and says, “I have to ask… did it hurt?” I just laughed. Then we started talking about nipple piercings.

I think a lot of people have issues with piercings, not just the “adult” ones. Even just talking to Cheesecake Queen, because she has them done, when she went in for surgery, she got suuuuuuch awful looks. It’s as if as soon as you get nipple piercings, you’re deemed a slut. I am faaaar from a slut! And it isn’t as though I go around showing everyone I meet! They were done for me and me alone!

I just found it funny. We started talking about them after that. I also didn’t get sick after getting blood taken! Booyashaka! I still have to set up this 24 hour heart test – I think it’s called a “holter test”? I asked a bit about it… hopefully when I actually have it with me I’ll have palpitations. Sometimes I go weeks without them just to get them super bad for a few days.

I hate palpitations.

* * *

We saw Brad! It’s been a loooong time since we’ve seen him last. He disappeared to work in the oil field. It seems like everyone I know is heading that route…

* * *

It’s raining more. Harder.

We decided to go to Hell. By Hell, I mean Walmart. I despise Walmart, I boycott it as much as humanly possible, which is sometimes quite hard considering their prices tend to be lower… for some things anyway. But they’re the scum of the earth (no, not all the employees! The company!).

I walk funny, that’s fine. I lean against the buggies to help with the pain. When I stop, I do this thing where I stand on one leg to take the pressure off of my spine, I don’t know how I learned to do this, I just did.

We were in line, waiting to check out; a woman behind me starts talking to me, albeit quietly, she’s talking to me.

Her name is Marjorie, she’s an 80 year old woman, though she doesn’t look 80. She asked what was wrong. I’m not really embarrassed or ashamed of it anymore, so I explained. She went on to tell me that she’ll pray for me and God will fix me.

Ugh.

I’m not rude, I don’t throw off anyone’s beliefs. I’m very open to religion, even if I don’t believe in it. To me, God is not a “single being”. God is in everything and everyone, and everybody experiences it differently, therefore, the fighting between religions is stupid because it’s all the same. Anyway, that’s a briefing on my beliefs. I’m spiritual, organized religion pisses me off, but…

I’m fine. I tell her thank you, and asked for her name (she asked for mine first). She just went on and on saying God will fix me, if I believe in God I’ll be saved. That’s all fine.

Then, she touched my back.

You do not, under any circumstances, touch S’s back.

EVER.

Unless I have given you specific instruction to or I trust you, you do not touch it. And even when I ask people like my Mom to put stuff on it to ease the pain, she’s very careful and doesn’t like going over my scar because my back is extremely sensitive. Touch it the wrong way and I’ll drop to the ground and I won’t get up.

Thankfully, she didn’t really hurt me, it just really freaked me out. I don’t enjoy being touched. I don’t really mind that people believe in God. I’m not an elitist Atheist or anything, I think everyone needs something to believe in, sometimes it gets annoying though. It’s even worse at Christmas time. If I decide to go to the mall or pretty much anywhere, I get bombarded by people wanting to pray for me.

I accept that you believe, that is fine, I’m glad, but please, if you’re going to pray, pray for someone that needs it.

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