Do you have that one person that can bring a smile to your face even while you’re in the foulest of moods?

I do.

Thanks, M. I appreciate it.

It just so happens that I’ve been insanely depressed, to the point I feel there may be no return. Of course, being bipolar, I know that what goes down must come up, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy this in the meantime. M hasn’t been in the greatest of states either, but it means a lot to me when he talks to me. He’s the only person that seems to get a real smile on my face. Yes, I laugh with W and the dogs, my Mom and siblings, but I still feel yucky inside; with M, everything is different, I actually feel better, the whole world starts turning again. But then there’s the flip side, what can make you whole can also break you… luckily, we haven’t had any problems in quite some time, I’m thankful for that.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to continue taking the .5mg of Risperidone the doctor gave me. I will continue with my nightly dose, but adding the .5 was too much. There are occasions where I’ll take an extra milligram before bed, but the .5 during the day makes me super tired and not only that, but it makes me feel sick. Sick in a way I can’t describe. It’s like when you smell something but aren’t quite sure what it is, or when you’re thinking about something, but you can’t pinpoint exactly what it’s about. It’s like a mixed state, almost, but weirder. Anyway, I just don’t like it. I don’t like any medication and I hope one day to go med-free in all ways.

M makes fun of me for taking Flinstones vitamins.

I’m not going to swallow ginormous pills just to get my daily dose of whatever, I’m going to eat a chewable, kid-friendly pill that gives me a bit of everything, not sparing the folic acid. Yes, folic acid. I don’t really see how it could be 100% considering people take it and still have children with birth defects, but because I have spina bifida, I should be taking it. I have no plans whatsoever on becoming pregnant, but if it were ever to occur, I need more than the average dose. I think my Flinstones vitamins will work just fine for the time being.

I’ve been reading my book again. It’s considerably more interesting than I originally thought. Not only that, but the dad in the story reminds me of W. He’s crazy about birds – bird watching, note taking on birds, writing a book about birds – birds, birds, birds.


Tomorrow, I have to wake up early. We’re having a surprise party for my Dad. My Dad will be 50 years young on the 11th, so we’re throwing a party; he still doesn’t know what’s going on. And no, I don’t have to worry, I’m sure he doesn’t even know what a blog is. It’s kind of intimidating, we’re going to have 30 people here which to me, is a lot of people. Choker was kind enough to make the cheesecakes for the party.

I called her the Cheesecake Queen.

Maybe that will become her new nickname.

Then there’s the Friendly Giant. Yes, I changed your nickname, take that!  He’s weird, dreaming about wizards and crappy powers. What purpose does a self-sweeping broom have other than to make a mess? Well, and star in a movie with Mickey. I want something better! Even Tim’s 5-second future seeing sounds better than that!

I’ll take the wizard robe though.

* * *

Today’s Daily Prompt was about healthcare. I have a lot of views on the system. I’m in Canada, so our healthcare is what you’d call “universal”. Anyone that says it’s free can kiss my ass. But then I see what M has to deal with in the states and that breaks my heart.

There are pros and cons to both private and government run.

Maybe I’ll touch on this subject in the future, but for now… I don’t want to ruin my happy mood!



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