Bah!

Well, I’m too lazy to do the daily prompt thing. Actually, it’s more I don’t want to write about it.

Today I went to the doctor, that didn’t go too well. I have to go for an EKG, some thyroid test and this weird 24 hour heart monitoring thing, which I don’t even know how it will work. Do you spend a night in the hospital? I hate hospitals. They annoy me. I should’ve just dealt with these stupid palpitations and let that be that.

But then… now I’m angry at him. Why, oh why, can’t I have a good doctor? I ask about something in particular because I’d like to do something about it and he responds with “maybe if you were 80” and “train yourself”. Well, I hate to tell you this, but I physically can NOT “train myself”, it doesn’t work that way. And 98% of the people with spina bifida take something for it. Do you not realize that, spine problems = _____ problems too? Ugh, can’t even get a referral to the doctor I need. And it isn’t as though I don’t need one of these specialists, I had one when I was young and all that’s going to happen is deterioration.

But what the hell is with this heart stuff? Does that mean he found something irregular when he was listening to my heart? Or is it a precaution? There better be no stress test. Me standing for 5 minutes is stress enough and I know my heart rate rises. Do you know how much bloody effort it takes just to stand up? For me it takes a ridiculous amount of effort, and walking for longer than 2 minutes takes a lot of endurance, it is physically painful. No, more like agonizing.

So things are weird. Very weird.

Well… just focus on the good and have that be that, I guess!

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