Daily Prompt: In A Crisis

January 17th

Honestly evaluate the way you respond to crisis situations. Are you happy with the way you react?

When it comes to situations like these, I’m not always the best at handling things. I can scream, I can cry, or I can be just fine.

When it comes to my own crisis, I find I deal with it in an unhealthy manner. I bottle things up, pretend I’m just fine, and go about my daily life. But at times, I can go crazy. There have been times… times of crisis, to be honest, where things didn’t go the way they should’ve and I didn’t react how I should have. I was actually talking to my psychiatrist about this. I had a psychotic episode, the only psychotic episode that I’ve ever had might I add, and the events that lead up to it… I could have prevented it, or at least I feel like I could have. But I didn’t take the right steps to alleviate the stress (I didn’t really know how…) and that’s how the Disaster happened. But because of the Disaster, I’ve learned what things lead up to a crisis, and how I can avoid going through it again, which is a big, big thing for me. Talking about how you’re feeling is a vital means of getting through it. Kahn explained to me, with my asking, that without medication there’s a 70-80% chance of having another episode, whilst taking medication it drops down to 10-20% instead. That was a relief.

When it comes to other things though, I freak out. I remember when I found out my Nana had cancer, again, well, even the first time. I tried so hard to hold it together but it ended up in failure; I cried and cried.

Some things are easier to deal with than others.

But then I guess there’s also times where people need you to be there for them, or times where you need to act quickly and call an ambulance or something. In those types of situations, I can think with a clear head and do what needs to be done, which is always a bonus as some people can’t.

I remember one year, I was 9 or 10 years old. My Dad had just left for Calgary and it was just my siblings, my Mom and me. At the time, we were living in a trailer in the middle of nowhere (Silver Creek, gorgeous place, surrounded by mountains), it was winter time, and we were heating our house via wood stove. With my Dad there, nothing had ever gone wrong, everything went fine, nothing out of the ordinary ever happened… The night he leaves, we get in the house after being out all day and my Mom goes to start the fire. Nothing unusual there. Well, she went to shower or something and left the room; I was in the next room watching TV or something. A few minutes later I hear my Mom ask if I smelled smoke, well, yeah, but I thought it was just the stove.

Flames. Shooting everywhere.

My Mom is running around the kitchen table screaming, “Oh my God! Oh my God!” and I have to tell her that it’s okay and ran over to get my neighbour, who was a volunteer firefighter – thank goodness he was home.

Needless to say, I managed to keep my cool, even at that young of an age. And for anyone wondering, no, our house didn’t burn down, we were saved by the foot of snow on the roof, if it hadn’t of been there, it would have been a different story… And, of course, my Dad laughed because why would it happen while he was there?

So now you know, it all depends on the situation.

But then again, this is coming from someone who sometimes freaks out over things and wants to kill herself just because something in her brain goes wrong, so the way I react could be different on any given day…

How do you deal with crisis?

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(My photo, grrr, go away, lol)

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