Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?
What is helplessness anyway? I’m not a damsel in distress, and I don’t expect to be saved. Okay, maybe a little…
A lot of people find me to be a happy, upbeat person, and I am – around other people. Sometimes, as much as I like to deny it, I feel like a small little girl, surrounded by monsters and nowhere to run, but don’t we all feel that way at times? I don’t like to portray myself as a hurt and scared little girl, so I don’t. So I guess at times I use my special ability, I use my mask to cover the hurt and act like a normal person in society.
Sometimes I feel like I’ll never accomplish anything and what happens now is what will always happen. A big example in my life has to do with my spine, sometimes I feel helpless in that regard. I’ll be walking and it just hurts, it hurts so bad. I feel like I can’t continue, and sometimes I really don’t know if I can, but I try. What do I do when I feel that way? I keep pushing even when I want to give up and am mumbling under my breath how I quit and give up and can’t. But I’ve always been that way. I’m stubborn as hell and I refuse to give up, even when I say I do.
But then there are other ways of feeling helpless. Money trouble, feeling depressed, feeling like there’s no escape… Things get hard; times where there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel, but you can do it! Something just pushes you… guides you…
The only way to get out of times like that is to keep holding on, continue thinking things will get better, talk to someone you care about, go on an adventure… And I’m not perfect, I sometimes will lie in bed 20 hours out of the day and refuse to get up because everything seems hopeless, but you have to keep going. Always keep going. Personally, I made promises to people I love, and I don’t intend to ever break those promises.
In the end, just don’t believe yourself when you say “can’t” and everything else in between.
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
– Shel Silverstein