The Pieces Are Falling Together?

Christmas Eve.

Mom went States-side to pick up K, W’s wife. Luckily she lives just barely across the border. Poor mom though, she went into the wrong lane and the lady was SO mean to her! The border guards really don’t have to be so snotty! Not everyone crosses the border regularly.

It was nice to see K again, and I’m sure W enjoyed it more than the rest of did all combined… that’s love, right?

We have a thing around the holidays where if you don’t have somewhere to go, you’re more than welcome to come spend it with us. We don’t have much, but we do the best we can and try to make everyone feel wanted and welcome.

The sibs, mom and I went out for our last-minute shopping experience. I absolutely loathe last minute shopping and I wish I didn’t have to do it. We first went to Zellers, and boy, am I going to miss Zellers; it’s becoming a Target in the new year and as nice as it’d be to have one in Canada, the US is taking over and it’s very upsetting. Even the HBC is no longer Canadian owned! Oh, the things I could say about America!

It was funny, yet sad. My brother set the alarm off just walking in! We have no idea why this happens, we checked everything he was wearing – even his stinky shoes. It even went off when we went to Home Depot!

Eventually, we got all of our running around done and came home. It was so, so, soooo nice to be home again.

Later on, Hat, Choker and Tim came over. Hat, peculiarly named, was wearing a top hat. I’ve always wanted one of thoooose. They showed up a little bit late, but Tim was working till 6 and in the end, it all worked out. We ended up playing Munchkin, which was really a lot of fun. My brother kept trying to screw everyone over! Choker won in the end, despite us all using illegal moves to try and make her lose…

We went to the 7-11 and, okay, if you know where I live, you’d know that there are prostitutes and crackheads EVERYWHERE. I hate it. But we went to get slurpees and this fat crackhead asks us if we can spare change for “food”. Our responses are all the same, “I only have debit”, “I’m not allowed to carry money”, I thought that was that. No, he asked us again on the way out. I got pissed off and originally was like “no…” then I added, “why don’t you just get a job like the rest of us?!” Everyone laughed and walked hastily to the car.

Also, Tim is not a bad driver. Inexperienced, yes, bad, no.

I have a problem where I can’t walk away from M. If he were ever to leave and never come back, I think I’d die…

We fought. I was very sad. Very. Sad.

Christmas Day.

M and I are talking. I decided to call him first thing in the morning and we had a good little chat, which we really needed. I talked to him all day on Christmas, and I called, and we just talked and talked, and the greatest thing of all happened…

My family was getting annoyed at me. Here it was, 7 something in the am and I still hadn’t come out of my room. I was on the PHONE!!!

I finally stepped out and we opened presents. To me, Christmas is not about the presents, it’s all about spending time with those you care about. There was Mom, Dad, W, K, my brother and sister, and the dogs… well, and the snake, and the toads, and the handicapped hamster…

I’m very grateful for all that I received, and I’m happy that what I got for everyone was liked. M hasn’t gotten his package yet, I hope he does soon, things are kind of hectic going over the border around this time of year. M was all kinds of wonderful to me, he’s so… amazing. We have our fights and get really upset, but there’s no boy, ahem, man that could ever replace him. I’ve been wearing this thing since I got it. I can pretend I’m Arwen now, all I’m lacking is my blonde hair, lol, it disappeared when I turned 13! Boo!

The entire day the house smelt of turkey, it was delicious. I don’t really enjoy turkey, but I usually eat a piece or two of it. The problem with turkey cooking is the fact that the aroma makes you go crazy all day and ridiculously hungry, all according to W, of course.

We all had a really nice time together. Leah and Cobi were spoiled! Overall, it was just really nice to be around everybody. Ashley, my sister’s friend also came over, she got to join in, probably somewhere around 2:30, very elusive, but such a nice young girl.

My phone went off, the text ringtone is something from the Legend of Zelda, and K immediately was like, “aha! Legend of Zelda!” I have a whole new respect for her! Nerds unite!

There was also a Christmas miracle. It started snowing. I called M throughout the day, completely excited because of the snow. I dressed up all fancy for the day, mainly because I was so happy. When you feel happy, you look pretty. M called me beautiful. I never ever believed anyone who told me that before, but M is some kind of wonderful, I believe him, I trust him…

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Boxing Day.

We were all up at a peculiar hour and went out to shop. Well, I didn’t exactly. We dropped the kids off at the mall and I went to go get my TV. I… have been dying for a new TV. Try gaming on a tube TV that has a line going through it making everything above it look upside down… sound confusing? It is! I had a bit of a complaint though. There was supposed to be 1,500 televisions for a certain price but we found out it was 1,500 Canada-wide! Now, that’s not even slightly fair, everyone east gets to shop early AND they have more stores than we do! That’s alright though, it was still one hell of a deal.

Around noon it was time for K to go home. I really didn’t want her to go, not just for W, but she’s a really great woman! At one point I asked if she had any duct tape. “Not on me, why?” Oh, I was just going to tape her to the wall is all… *whistles*

I ended up going on the drive with them to White Rock. It was a semi-quiet ride, I definitely felt the sorrow in the air. I don’t think anyone cried, but I know they wanted to. It’s just not fair, you’d think that when someone is married, country borders don’t matter anymore. Canadians and Americans have history, we’re not terrorists, if you’re married, you should be allowed to go where your lover is… try explaining that one to the Americans. 😦 One day I hope they get to be with each other though, they’re so cute together, I want something exactly like that.

When we got to the border, K and W said their goodbyes and I even got a hug! You have no idea how much I like you, lady. It was a good thing I came along on the ride, W really needed someone to keep him awake! And, we saw a hawk.

Later on, we went to get the kids and Dad, oh my… People are so ridiculously ignorant on boxing day, I wanted to kill someone. No one was letting anyone go anywhere and lots of people were almost run over. I’m glad I didn’t drive there, I would’ve completely lost it.

Later on, we went back. My brother wanted a game he couldn’t get because he wasn’t old enough. We met thee greatest employee at a game store of all time! He was just very helpful and fun to talk to. It was so random, we told him he’s our favourite employee and the girls were like, “no! Not Nathan!” We died laughing.

Image

(apparently this is in Saskatoon, I don’t know who took the picture)

Fast forward to today and the days just keep getting better. I sometimes think that people don’t understand mine and M’s relationship. It is quite complicated but it runs deeper than most people choose to see. We’re almost as bipolar as I am, lol, things are up and down, but I think they’re going to get better.

Have you ever felt like you’ve lost yourself? Yeah, I’ve felt like that and I’ve been stuck in the same rut for the past year and a half. Something is going on inside of me that I just can’t explain. But after talking, I think I understand what needs to be done.

M is my key and he finally fixed me.

As long as I can do what needs to be done, the new year will be perfect. I really can’t wait. M means so much to me and I just wouldn’t be S without him. It’s time I let him back in, ’cause M isn’t like all the other men out there, he’s some kind of wonderful and I’m in love with him.

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