Broken Hearts Are For Assholes

I survived!

Take that 2012!

B, Tim and I counted down to 11pm just to cover our heads when it got down. Nothing happened. I wanted aliens. That crazy hair guy from Ancient Aliens promised me aliens, dammit!

I never believed in the “end of the world” though.

It’s always an interesting time with B and Tim.

I like it.

After saying I wasn’t going to drink, I don’t normally like it, but I made an exception after getting my heart broken and I drank more than enough, Tim had weird smores vodka, it tasted exactly like smores, it made me want to go camping… in the snow. And tequila! The tequila didn’t kill us!

I think my favourite part of the night was going to swing. This may sound insignificant to you, but that’s how we all first “met”. I randomly asked B if he’d go swing with me, me being a stranger from school who talked about ghosts and Dr. Suess… Tim’s sister was my sister’s friend and Tim happened to tag along with me to go meet B, and we spent the whole night talking about spirits and aliens. We’ve been friends ever since, that was close to 6 years ago.

I’m glad I have friends. I’ve felt so alone, there have been times I don’t see my friends for months and start thinking they don’t like me. I guess this means I need to be more proactive. B, Tim, Hat and Choker, those are my favourite people.

Normally M would be.

M has left me for the last time.

He did a lot of wrong, some of which I don’t know if he realized he was doing. I think it was unintentional, or maybe it’s just the dominant personality, I don’t know. But I did a lot of wrong too, some I’ve never been able to get over, but I’ve never been given the chance to do that. I’ll never elaborate on what happened between us, that is strictly our business and will continue to be, privacy ensues.

It hurts.

Things were going so well. But when I think about it, they really weren’t. My opinions were invalid and I couldn’t be myself anymore. All I know is I’ll always love him, I always will, but I have to stop, stopping is going to be the hardest thing. 5 years worth of back and forth, pain, love and memories.

It’s like a sick addiction and I’m addicted.

I don’t want to have feelers anymore.

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